


A Fistfull of Peanuts

by Merixcil



Category: Big Bang (Band), YG Family
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:23:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungri's porn keeps showing up in odd places, Seunghyun objects</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fistfull of Peanuts

There’s a magazine featuring more exposed vaginas than Youngbae is happy dealing with this early in the morning sitting at the bottom of his sock draw. He blinks at Candy as she bears all for the camera, then scoops up the offending article and returns it to Seungri’s room. 

“This is getting ridiculous,”

Seungri feigns ignorance, “what’s getting ridiculous?”

Youngbae stares at him, unmoving for a good two minutes before he decides exactly how angry he’s willing to be about this, “over the past week I’ve been treated to Charlie’s Word of Wisdom regarding plastic phalluses, Loreta demonstrating how a real man should please his woman and Shanon ‘getting freaky’ with some household appliances and I am done,” he looms over Seungri, sitting crosslegged on his bed, and maybe he’s forcing the manic look in his eyes just a little but the maknae is sufficiently terrified,

“Um, sorry? It won’t happen again,”

“It better not, or your ipod’s going to mysteriously wind up going through the wash.”

Youngbae leaves the room with uncommonly tense shoulders, Seungri stares down at the magazine on his lap and thinks that he’s going to have to be more careful.

 

“Why is there porn in the fridge?” Jiyong asks through a mouthful of cereal. Youngbae shoots Seungri a murderous glare and his fingers visibly tighten around his fork. 

Daesung looks as startled as if Jiyong had just proposed that they all appear nude on their second album cover, “When you say porn, what do you mean?”

“I mean an actual magazine filled with pictures of naked girls, I think, lemme check,” He reaches into the fridge, behind the milk and brings forth the smut rag, “you know, I found some really nasty stuff in with my shoes the other morning, had to burn that.”

“You’ve been lighting fires?” Youngbae sounds unimpressed.

“If you’d have seen some of the things these girls were doing, and some of the things they were doing them with, you’d have set a few fires too Bae, trust me.”

Seungri tries not to make eye contact with anyone, though Youngbae is unsubtly glaring daggers at him.

“This is really fucking cheesy as well,” Jiyong continues, flicking through the magazine on the kitchen counter, “straight in the trash with this shit. 

Maybe Seungri sneaks back when no one’s looking to fish it out of the bin.

 

Daesung comes into Seungri’s room a few days later looking rather pale. He flings a stack of paper at the maknae and mumbles something about finding them down the side of the sofa. 

Seungri flicks through them quickly and tries not to blush, “errr…..sorry?” he manages. 

Daesung looks terrified, “Where are you even getting it all?” he hisses, “please tell me Seunghyun’s not in on this,”

“Why, you want some?” Seungri grins, letting last month’s issue of Jugs fall open on a particularly graphic shot of two girls demonstrating an ‘exciting and stimulating new sex toy!’.

Daesung’s eyes pop and he can’t leave the room fast enough; “I don’t know why you can’t just use the internet!” he calls back,

“When we’ve made loads of money being sexy famous people I’ll buy myself a laptop, just for you!” 

 

Two days later and Seungri comes home one evening to find a rather ratty looking old laptop sitting on his bed. For a moment, he lets himself get excited, thinking that maybe this is some kind of reward from sajangim for good behaviour, then he flips it open and a sheet of scruffy handwriting is waiting for him.

_'I threw out your magazines because we’re all fucking sick of them. You can use my laptop when I don’t need it. Please for the love of all things holy delete your internet history. I expect this back first thing tomorrow morning._

Tempo 

(ps – don’t tell the others, they’ll want to use my computer too and fuck that shit)'

Seungri frowns at the laptop for a few minutes thinking that this has to be some kind of trap but when he boots it up and gets stuck into a google search nothing untoward happens. It’s not exactly common for Seunhyun to do anything nice for him, but he soon discovers that the internet has everything that his precious magazine collection had and more; and really, isn’t that the important thing?

He drops the laptop back on Seunghyun’s bed the next morning along with a note – _‘Thanx hyeong! Ur da best’._

When he gets home late that night after pushing himself through extra dance rehearsals, the laptop is waiting for him. 

 

Eventually the novelty of every kink known to man being right at his fingertips wears off and Seungri finds other ways to fill the time spent with Seunghyun’s laptop. Akinator and solitaire lose their charms surprisingly quickly and although Seungri knows he shouldn’t, he starts to wander through the files on Seunghyun’s computer. 

Most of it’s not particularly interesting. There’s a huge music library, a few photos, Seunghyun’s old school folders and not much else. Seungri skims through the schoolwork, vaguely thinking that he can laugh at his hyeong’s terrible self application, but the few half arsed essays that are still kicking around on the hard drive are hardly anything to write home about. 

Seungri sighs as he exits a folder marked 'Literature' and hopes that Seunghyun’s ‘Biology’ folder will be more interesting. He isn’t disappointed. 

Porn in a biology folder? Really? Minus several million for subtlety right there. 

Seungri clicks on one of the videos lurking in the backwaters of Seunghyun’s school work and wonders what kind of porn his eldest hyeong goes for. The video starts out well enough, there's a pathetic attempt at a plot involving a swimming pool and alcohol and....

Things get heated and something is noticeably absent, there's naked bodies and sex sounds and slapping skin but it's all wrong and Seungri can't close the video fast enough. He's sure it's just a mistaken download or the result of someone trolling, so he opens up another video hoping to prove himself right.

The something is still missing. 

Frowning, Seungri tries another video, and another, and another. Something is still irritatingly absent from all of them. 

Seungri takes a deep breath and carefully closes the laptop. He stares it down for the rest of the evening, and decides he has some important questions for Seunghyun.

 

“Aish! Sorry, thought you weren’t getting back till later.” Seunghyun stands awkwardly in the doorway. “Uh, here’s my laptop, try not to jizz on it.”

“Thanks!” Seungri beams at him, “I’m always careful with your stuff hyeong.”

Seunghyun gives him an odd look before turning to go.

“Hyeong wait!” Seungri calls, “I ah, um I had something important to ask you”

“Make it quick, I have important sleep to be catching up on.”

“Hyeong are you gay?” 

Seunghyun blinks at him, expression growing less and less passive as the seconds tick by. It occurs to Seungri that that’s not the sort of question you ask at random.

“What the fuck?” Seunghyun starts towards the bed, snatching at his laptop; Seungri tries desperately to think of something to say that isn’t going to earn him the cold shoulder from the elder for the rest of his idol career,

“Well, it’s just, I mean…”

“Yes?” Seunghyun looks distinctly unamused.

“None of your porn has any girls in it.”

It is the awkward silence to end all awkward silences. Seunghyun’s indignation eventually gets the better of him and he breaks it,

“You went through all my porn?” he says incredulously

“No, just a few videos, but-“

“Then how the fuck would you know if any of my porn has any girls in it,” he pauses, “wait, why the fuck were you even looking at my porn?”

“Why the fuck did you lend your laptop to me in the first place!”

They glare at each other for a minute, Seungri bashful and Seunghyun calculating. When the tension reaches breaking point, Seunghyun’s face resolves into a wicked grin,

“So did you like it?” Seunhyun smirks, setting the laptop back on the bed.

“Like what?”

“The porn, the…guys?”

“I didn’t fap to that!” Seungri squeaks, “I like girls!”

Seunghyun looks at him in mock disbelief, “Oh come on maknae where’s your sense of adventure?”

“Don’t need a sense of adventure to know that I won’t like it,” Seungri replies flatly

“Bet you would,”

“Bet I wouldn’t”

“Would”

“Wouldn’t”

“Would”

"Wouldn’t”

“Watch one and find out?”

Seungri blinks, “I’m actually ok.”

Seunghyun shrugs, “Well I’m gonna watch one,” he reaches over and switches on the laptop,

“You can’t watch that here,” Seungri snaps at him, “this is my room go fap over gay guys somewhere else”

“S’my laptop” Seunghyun replies, tossing off his hoodie and sitting back on the bed right next to Seungri.

Seungri groans, “Please hyeong can you not I have stuff I could be doing,”

“The stuff you could be doing is watching porn, on my laptop, which I am currently using to watch porn. It’s my porn or nothing idiot.”

Seungri sulks as Seunghyun pulls open something in English. He sets the computer at the other end of the bed and as Male Protagonist A starts to fondle Male Protagonist B’s crotch Seunghyun begins to rub himself through his trousers. 

“Do you seriously find this hot?” Seungri asks as Male Protagonist B’s trousers fall to the floor and Male Protagonist A drops to his knees,

“You can join in or shut up,” Seunghyun replies, hand diving into his pants. Seungri grumbles to himself momentarily before letting his own hand fall to his crotch and giving it a shot.

 

Ten minutes later and Seunghyun's breath is coming ragged, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth as his hand flies over his cock. Seungri tries to pay as much attention to the people on screen as to Seunghyun masturbating, but when neither one is really doing it for him the morbid fascination with which he can watch his hyeong trumps the vague disgust he feels watching two people with not a vagina between them bone.

Male Protagonist A makes a particularly convincing shriek and Seunghyun suddenly tenses next to him, a whimper escaping his lips as he comes. Try as Seungri might he can’t look away in time to avoid seeing Seunghyun’s dick twitch awkwardly and make a mess of his tshirt. 

Seungri’s eyes flick between Seunghyun and the computer screen, trying to work out what his next move should be. He’s hard, but that could just be his own handiwork. Male Protagonist A is currently taking Male Protagonist B’s dick like a trooper, but the thrusting and the moaning and the lewd talk really isn’t doing anything for him. He gives up and reaches over to shut the laptop.

“Told you I wouldn’t like it,” he says

Seunghyun’s still breathing a little too hard and his expression is a very special species of sleepy happiness, “you’re hard aren’t you?”

“I’m 17 I can get myself hard no problem, if I liked it I would have come like five minutes ago.”

“You want me to jack you off?”

Seungri blinks at Seunghyun, “what?”

Seunghyun gestures vaguely at Seungri’s dick, still mostly stuck in his pants, “Let me help you out,” he moves forwards and yanks Seungri’s tracksuit bottoms down.

Seungri doesn’t have time to process what’s going on before Seunghyun’s hand is on his dick, he tries to care for about three seconds but Seunghyun’s good at this, his grip firm and confident as he jacks Seungri off with lazy strokes. Seungri almost registers that having a guy actually touch you is much, much better than watching two guys go at it and being expected to care, but it’s a dim and distant thought and nowhere near as important as focusing on Seunghyun’s hand.

It’s possible that he takes an embarrassingly short amount of time to come, spilling into Seunghyun’s hand with a choked moan. He opens eyes he hadn’t realised he’d had closed and sees Seunghyun licking semen from his fingers.

“Gross,”

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,”

“I’m never trying it ever,”

“I bet you’ll like it more than gay porn,”

“Ever,”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“EVER!” 

“I dare you!” Seunghyun smirks, holding out a blob of highly unappetising white gunk.

“You’re literally not getting me to eat my own spunk,” Seungri replies, trying against the odds to enjoy the afterglow

“Would you rather eat another guy’s spunk?”

“I’m never ever eating spunk ever,”

“Why not?”

“I’m not gay”

“You just watched gay porn with another guy in the room who then jacked you off, that sound very straight to you?” Seunghyun protests, “besides, what does flavour have to do with being gay?”

“You did all the gay stuff I didn’t even get off on the porn,” Seungri chooses to avoid the follow up question. The finger is still being offered out to him, “I’m not eating that.”

Seunghyun shrugs, “suit yourself” and he pops the finger into his mouth, sighing happily. Seungri watches, his face the picture of disgusted fascination,

“Does it really taste that good?” he asks, disbelieving

“Still some left if you wanna find out.”

Seungri looks down at the blob of cum sitting on his tshirt and promises himself to forget that this ever happened by the next morning. He brings as much as he can bear to look at to his lips, screws his eyes tight shut and opens wide.

Two seconds later and he’s reaching for the water on his bedside table, “it’s official, that stuff is disgusting, you’re disgusting, anyone who actually wants it in their mouth is disgusting”

Seunghyun’s chuckling to himself as he reaches for his hoodie, “you might acquire a taste for it maknae, you never know,”

“I am never doing anything you suggest ever again,”

“Ever?”

“Ever.”

“Even if I suggest another handjob?” Seunghyun winks at Seungri, scooping up his laptop.

Seungri’s mouth twists in contemplation, “I hate you.”

“Love you too maknae!” Seunghyun sing-songs as he makes to leave.

“Wait! Hyung you still haven’t answered my question,” Seunghyun raises an eyebrow, foot still firmly in the door on his way out for a post-wank fag.

“Are you gay?”

Seunghyun rolls his eyes, “Seungri, please!” and slams the door.

Seungri never gets his answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Urgh I had no idea how to finish this!
> 
> I also had no idea what to call this, so the title comes from a Spacemonkeyz remix of a Gorilaaz song that has nothing to do with anything


End file.
